Yeah there’s a God

You know those types of girls that are butt-ugly but the only thing that they have going for them are a set of big tits? there it is. God was feeling a bit worn out, after all creating the entire universe and earth is a big task so he decided he would turn over the task of creating a NEW batch of humans to an apprentice. The apprentice wasn’t that bright so God left simple instructions, just make them look like Adam and Eve. So the apprentice went off to work and started creating sculptures to be made real. God came back later and got ticked. What the deuce is this?! I told you to make humans! these are hairer than that monkey you made for me last week! the only thing he’s good for is a loofah! Okay, this is the last time I’m fixing your mistakes! And with that, God zapped the sculpture, causing 2 large mountains to protrude from the chest. And God then said, ’Good, let there be titties.’

3 Guys Go To Hell

A smoke a drinker and a gay guy go to hell, When they first get there the devil wanted to play a game so he decided to give them one more chance he told them they would get to go back to earth if the smoker didnt smoke or the drinker didnt drink or the gay guy didnt well you know or ask your parents lol so these 3 guys are walking down the street and after a few blocks the drunk saw a bar and ran into it and ordered a drink took a sip and poof he was back in hell so the two guys still walking the smoker seen a lit but on the ground and bent over to pick it up and poof the gay guys gone.

History Of The Jack-O'Lantern

Pumpkin carving is a popular part of modern America's Halloween celebration. Come October, pumpkins can be found everywhere in the country from doorsteps to dinner tables. Despite the widespread carving that goes on in this country every autumn, few Americans really know why or when the jack o'lantern tradition began. Or, for that matter, whether the pumpkin is a fruit or a vegetable. Read on to find out!

People have been making jack o'lanterns at Halloween for centuries. The practice originated from an Irish myth about a man nicknamed "Stingy Jack." According to the story, Stingy Jack invited the Devil to have a drink with him. True to his name, Stingy Jack didn't want to pay for his drink, so he convinced the Devil to turn himself into a coin that Jack could use to buy their drinks. Once the Devil did so, Jack decided to keep the money and put it into his pocket next to a silver cross, which prevented the Devil from changing back into his original form. Jack eventually freed the Devil, under the condition that he would not bother Jack for one year and that, should Jack die, he would not claim his soul. The next year, Jack again tricked the Devil into climbing into a tree to pick a piece of fruit. While he was up in the tree, Jack carved a sign of the cross into the tree's bark so that the Devil could not come down until the Devil promised Jack not to bother him for ten more years.

Soon after, Jack died. As the legend goes, God would not allow such an unsavory figure into heaven. The Devil, upset by the trick Jack had played on him and keeping his word not to claim his soul, would not allow Jack into hell. He sent Jack off into the dark night with only a burning coal to light his way. Jack put the coal into a carved-out turnip and has been roaming the Earth with ever since. The Irish began to refer to this ghostly figure as "Jack of the Lantern," and then, simply "Jack O'Lantern."

In Ireland and Scotland, people began to make their own versions of Jack's lanterns by carving scary faces into turnips or potatoes and placing them into windows or near doors to frighten away Stingy Jack and other wandering evil spirits. In England, large beets are used. Immigrants from these countries brought the jack o'lantern tradition with them when they came to the United States. They soon found that pumpkins, a fruit native to America, make perfect jack o'lanterns.

The Great Pumpkin

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Pumpkins But Were Afraid To Ask...

- Pumpkins are fruits. A pumpkin is a type of squash and is a member of the gourd family (Cucurbitacae), which also includes squash, cucumbers, gherkins, and melons.

- The largest pumpkin pie ever baked was in 2003 and weighed 418 pounds.

- Pumpkins have been grown in North America for five thousand years. They are indigenous to the western hemisphere.

- In 1584, after French explorer Jacques Cartier explored the St. Lawrence region of North America, he reported finding "gros melons." The name was translated into English as "pompions," which has since evolved into the modern "pumpkin."

- Pumpkins are low in calories, fat, and sodium and high in fiber. They are good sources of Vitamin A, Vitamin B, potassium, protein, and iron.

- The largest pumpkin ever grown was 1,337 pounds. It was grown by Charles Houghton of New Boston, New Hampshire.

- Pumpkin seeds should be planted between the last week of May and the middle of June. They take between 90 and 120 days to grow and are picked in October when they are bright orange in color. Their seeds can be saved to grow new pumpkins the next year.